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Over the past few weeks, I’ve been going through a bit of a — Actually i’m not sure what it is.  I’ve not been depressed, or even sad, just spending too much time thinking about things and prone to see the negative.

So to combat this, I’ve been watching a lot of comedy.  Chicken soup for the soul.

My comedic tastes are quite brutal.  I do like a lot of innocent comedians and their acts: like Ken Dodd, Ronnie Corbett, etc, but i’m really at home with the most disgusting and brutal comedians.  Read More »

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When i went to my class last night, I was already planning to push myself a little bit.  I wanted to try and experiment with eye contact.  I didn’t really know how, or when i’d go about it, or even who with, but i just knew i wanted to challenge it.

• Taking the bull by the horns and holding on tight!

As mentioned in my last post, i had a reasonably prolonged conversation with the girl sat at the desk behind me.  This girl, probably in her mid-20s, is quite friendly, uses a lot of eye contact and is generally quite expressive.  Read More »

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I was reminded last night, of a pattern that i’ve followed since as far back as I can remember.

I think in life, for me at least, it’s easy to just do things, be certain ways and follow certain patterns without even noticing.  Sometimes you may make a mental note, but never really pay attention to it again or forget it all together.

• Fear the group

I know i’ve never been good in group situations.  Put me in a room with more than 5 or 6 people I don’t know, and you’re pretty much guarenteed an anti-social oik who will probably choose to listen to music in his headphones, rather than make conversation or get to know people.  Read More »

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In my night class last night, I had socializing thrust upon me.   “For fun,” apparently.

We were split into groups, and had to discuss “Persuasive topics.”  It worked out as quite a good thing, as it pretty much confirmed that my inability to socialize is more about a lack of practise and effort, than it is about shyness or lack of confidence.

I probably ended up being one of the main speakers of our group, or at least thereabouts.  But, i did notice something and it made me think, and you know the rules by now, if something makes me think, it’ll likely end up here in a nice, long ramble.  Read More »

Posted in Life, Philosophy | 2 Comments »

I’ve known for pretty much all of my life that i lack ambition.  Sometimes it’s played on my mind, momentarily, most of the time i just see it as part of who i am.

Last night, while in my night-class, i was talking to the teacher, in the break, and he asked what my plans were.  He wanted to know where i was planning on taking English, writing, etc, once i’d passed this course.

I had to think.  Read More »

Posted in Life, Paranormal, Philosophy, Science | 8 Comments »

Prompted by the upcoming LHC (Large Hadron Collider) project, which kicks off tomorrow in Switzerland, i went through my yearly (circa) pilgrimage to the world of Physics and Quantum Physics, which often leads me to the knowledge that i’m just not smart enough to understand it.  Read More »

Posted in Life, Philosophy | 3 Comments »

I’ve been hearing about this Richard Dawkins for quite some time, on the internet forums i post on, on TV, radio, etc.  The people who usually quote him are dogmatic atheists, hypocritical and just as religious as any religion they berate.

Now i know why.  Read More »

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As the title asks, Who Am I?

I’m tempted to use the easy answer on this one.  I could even satisfy myself with it, because as i think it, it’s the only answer that makes sense to me.  I don’t know.  I just don’t know who i am.

That wouldn’t make for much of a post though, and deep down, i know it’s not the real answer either.  I know that the real me still exists, somewhere, hidden among the scaffolding i had to build up to keep things from falling apart.  Hidden among the excuses i used to make everything OK.  Hidden among the Me i created to survive and exist in the harsh, cruel world i perceived around me.  Read More »

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I won’t lie and pretend i’ve read all his works, or even any of his works in full, i’ve basically had a look around on the internet and read a lot of snippets, and what bits i could find for free, as well as the basic concepts of his thinking.  Seeing as this site is basically for me to meander in my own mind express it in written form, i doubt it matters much.

Upon reading on the thinking behind Descartes’ philosophy, i can’t help but find inconsistencies.  The same inconsistencies i see in any argument that claims open-mindedness, free-thinking and the like.  Read More »

Posted in Life, Personal, Philosophy | 2 Comments »

I’m finding it difficult to think of things to write about at the moment, have been for the last few days in all honesty.  Even my dreams have been somewhat empty, or at least nothing worth remembering.

I can’t think of anything i need to get off my chest, or anything that’s playing around in my head.  Contentment is a bitch.  Read More »